Golf Tan Lines

Unfortunately as a golfer, you suffer from the awful golf tan lines. The sock tan, the shorts tan, the sleeve than that does not disappear not matter how many times you go to the beach or tanning bed. 

Now see, it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so naturally pale to begin with. I sent this picture to a friend in which she responded

"Why are you wearing socks with those shoes?"

This is just the beginning of the awkward golf tan summer. I still have have over four months for my tan spots to get tanner and my white to seem whiter.

When I was in Target the other day, I noticed an older man staring at me, not in the eyes, but at my feet. Then he just looked up at me and gave me a patheic half smile, a "I feel bad for you" smile.

http://www.lifeinthetrap.com/GolfJokes_TanLines.php

Questionable Outfits of the Pros

Do you ever sit on the couch watching golf and see an outfit and question if the golfer got dressed in the dark?

I've had plenty of those moments, the first time i really noticed the bold new golf outfits was when Rickie Fowler came out strutting around in an all orange head to toe ensemble. Then I noticed the all blue, and I started to wonder, is this a new fashion trend?

 

Oh hey, Papa Smurf.

is that a traffic cone or a golfer?

Pepto bismol?

I'm not sure I even have words?

Loudmouth Golf wins the award for most obnoxious golf clothes in my opinion. I'm all about being daring but I'm not sure I want to be spotted by a plane when I am below golfing.

I own one crazy skirt, at least in my opinion its on the wild side. Mainly it is just striped red, black and blue. I feel daring when I wear it on the course but all these other outfits really outshine my striped skirt. I'm debating on delving into this new fashion trend or just being another boring dressed golfer.

Needless to say with fresh new young golfers, golf clothes will never be boring again.  

Check out: Golf Digest Weighs in on 2011 PGA Championship Fashion Trends

Every Golfer Needs a Caddie, Right?

Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddie: I didn't realize you had played before, sir.

Golfer: That can't be my ball, It looks far too old.
Caddie: It's been a long time since we started, sir.

Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven, Sir, "You've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!
Caddie: This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago!

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddie: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.” 

Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: Oh, he's played with you, too, huh?

Well what golfer doesn't like having a caddie on their bag, someone to blame when they hook the shot into the water, or low line it over the green. It easier to look to the person on the bag with a scowl on your face then to admit that you, yourself did something wrong.

However, no matter how many times me and my father argue on the course, shot after shot, he returns day after day and tournament after tournament to be abused.  I don't know if he like the exercise or just enjoys my company when I' not blaming him. I'm going to go with he loves being in the sun and exercising while watching his daughter play golf, even if he has to take the mean looks and the "I told you that wasn't the right club," or the "I'm not listening to your putting advice after what happened last time."

Thankfully, he has never ditched me on the course to carry my own bag and I have never fired him mid-round.  In 2007 Jay Williamson fired his caddie on the 15th hole during the first round of the Canadian Open.

The caddie response: throwing a handful of golf balls into a lake.

You can read the full story by ESPN by clicking here, or read my summary.

• After bad shot over the green on 14, golfer and caddie exchange words and tension grew hotter and hotter
• Caddie gets fired and throws golf balls into lake
• Williamson looked to the gallery and put a new man on the bag
• Williamson doesn't make the cut

Reminds me of another duo who just couldn't make it last. Tiger Woods and Steve Williams.

I Can Do That

After watching the Honda Classic this past week as Rory McIlroy earned his title as number one in the world I couldn't help but think, golf is easy. As a golfer myself I was shocked as I said it, but watching those pros on TV make you believe it. I spent Thursday-Saturday watching in awe, being inspired that I could drive the ball that far and sink a 30 footer nonchalantly, until Sunday came. I found myself playing a practice round in Savannah Georgia at Savannah Quarters country club (beautiful course). I teed up on my first hole-which happened to be hole 14. And stretched got ready to hit a great shot, and then surprised myself when my ball was headed left for a sand trap instead of right down the middle of the fairway. I thought, wait a minute, Rory doesn't do this, then I realized that is why I am a college golfer and not on the LPGA myself. Talk about a reality check.

Yet I haven't learned. Golf tournament after golf tournament I watch and pros just make it look easy. Then I go out hit a few good shots on the range and wonder who they consistently never miss fairways, or greens(for the most part.)

To most golfers, golf is a pain. You love it, you hate it and it goes back and forth like that for the rest of your life. It is a nasty game to love, but impossible to walk away from. My dad sent me this poem once and I read it almost daily. I can't help but laugh to myself because the poem perfectly describes my feelings of the sport we call golf.

In my hand, I hold a ball, white and dimpled, and rather small. Oh how bland it does appear, this harmless looking little spehere. By its size I could not guess, of the awesome strength it does possess. But since I fell beneath its spell, I've wandered through the fires of hell. My life has not been quite the same, since I chose to play this stupid game. It rules my mind for hours on end, a fortune it has made me spend. It has made me curse and made me cry, and hate myself and want to die. It promises me a thing called par, if I hit it straight and far. To master such a tiny ball, should not be very hard at all. But my desires the ball refuses, and does exactly as it chooses. It hooks and slices, dribbles and dies, and disappears before my eyes. Often it will have a whim, to hit a tree or take a swim. With miles of grass on which to land, it finds a tiny patch of sand. Then has me offering up my soul, if only it would find the hole. It's made me whimper like a pup, and swear that I will give it up. And take a drink to ease my sorrow, but the ball knows... I'll be back tomorrow.

Ben Crane Bringing Humor to Golf

No one has golf humor like Ben Crane. He is a PGA tour player that take the time to make internet videos to share his golf tips with all. He appears in his iconic red outfit topped with his black helmet. He recently got a few other golf boys together to create the Golf Boys music video titled "Oh Oh Oh" the video was presented by Farmers Insurance who said they would donate $1,000 for every 100,000 views of the video with the charitable porceeds going to support both Farmers and Ben Crance charitable initiatives.

Even the outakes of the videos had me laughing out loud. Youtube videos are a new sensation in this social media world and Ben Crane grabs it by the handles putting his own funny spin on it.

All these videos featuring Ben Crane will have you laughing. Heck take some of his silly pointers, who knows.

1.Golf Boys music video

2. On slow play

3. On working out

4.  Lost Love

Sink or Swim

Nothing helps me after a rough round of golf then finding these little cartoons to cheer you up, and remind you that everyone struggles. I once read golf can best be defind as "an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional mircale, followed by a good bottle of beer."  And all the older men I have played with swear by this.

In the end all you can do is laugh about how the course wins everytime no matter what you shot, because there is always that one putt that could have been or that one chunk that cost you a stroke. There is no such thing as a perfect round, ask any golfer.

In the end your mind is so jumbled and you question every thing, why do I golf? Why torture myself? Yet you can't help but return day after day with that thought in your head that today is the day I beat the course.

Here are some of my favorite humorous golf jokes I recieved in an e-mail:

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. -Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. -George Brett

The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. -Brian Weis

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. -Lord Robertson

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. - Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.. -Bob Hope

Also Check Out: God's Just Punishment