Golf Tan Lines

Unfortunately as a golfer, you suffer from the awful golf tan lines. The sock tan, the shorts tan, the sleeve than that does not disappear not matter how many times you go to the beach or tanning bed. 

Now see, it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so naturally pale to begin with. I sent this picture to a friend in which she responded

"Why are you wearing socks with those shoes?"

This is just the beginning of the awkward golf tan summer. I still have have over four months for my tan spots to get tanner and my white to seem whiter.

When I was in Target the other day, I noticed an older man staring at me, not in the eyes, but at my feet. Then he just looked up at me and gave me a patheic half smile, a "I feel bad for you" smile.

http://www.lifeinthetrap.com/GolfJokes_TanLines.php

Questionable Outfits of the Pros

Do you ever sit on the couch watching golf and see an outfit and question if the golfer got dressed in the dark?

I've had plenty of those moments, the first time i really noticed the bold new golf outfits was when Rickie Fowler came out strutting around in an all orange head to toe ensemble. Then I noticed the all blue, and I started to wonder, is this a new fashion trend?

 

Oh hey, Papa Smurf.

is that a traffic cone or a golfer?

Pepto bismol?

I'm not sure I even have words?

Loudmouth Golf wins the award for most obnoxious golf clothes in my opinion. I'm all about being daring but I'm not sure I want to be spotted by a plane when I am below golfing.

I own one crazy skirt, at least in my opinion its on the wild side. Mainly it is just striped red, black and blue. I feel daring when I wear it on the course but all these other outfits really outshine my striped skirt. I'm debating on delving into this new fashion trend or just being another boring dressed golfer.

Needless to say with fresh new young golfers, golf clothes will never be boring again.  

Check out: Golf Digest Weighs in on 2011 PGA Championship Fashion Trends

Every Golfer Needs a Caddie, Right?

Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddie: I didn't realize you had played before, sir.

Golfer: That can't be my ball, It looks far too old.
Caddie: It's been a long time since we started, sir.

Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven, Sir, "You've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!
Caddie: This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago!

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddie: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.” 

Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: Oh, he's played with you, too, huh?

Well what golfer doesn't like having a caddie on their bag, someone to blame when they hook the shot into the water, or low line it over the green. It easier to look to the person on the bag with a scowl on your face then to admit that you, yourself did something wrong.

However, no matter how many times me and my father argue on the course, shot after shot, he returns day after day and tournament after tournament to be abused.  I don't know if he like the exercise or just enjoys my company when I' not blaming him. I'm going to go with he loves being in the sun and exercising while watching his daughter play golf, even if he has to take the mean looks and the "I told you that wasn't the right club," or the "I'm not listening to your putting advice after what happened last time."

Thankfully, he has never ditched me on the course to carry my own bag and I have never fired him mid-round.  In 2007 Jay Williamson fired his caddie on the 15th hole during the first round of the Canadian Open.

The caddie response: throwing a handful of golf balls into a lake.

You can read the full story by ESPN by clicking here, or read my summary.

• After bad shot over the green on 14, golfer and caddie exchange words and tension grew hotter and hotter
• Caddie gets fired and throws golf balls into lake
• Williamson looked to the gallery and put a new man on the bag
• Williamson doesn't make the cut

Reminds me of another duo who just couldn't make it last. Tiger Woods and Steve Williams.